COVID Birth Stories - Emma, Luke and Arthur
As we in the UK have been plunged into a third lockdown, conversations with expectant Mums have, unsurprisingly, turned to whether or not they themselves will be faced with bringing their little one into the world with restrictions, rules and social distancing.
As an expectant Mum myself, this is a legitimate worry. Whilst none of us ultimately have control over our birth stories, these times give rise to heightened apprehension and additional distress that we could do without.
The thought of potentially giving birth on my own or having my partner be told he has to leave us just a short while after welcoming our child is a million miles away from the beautiful picture I have painted for so long.
It is for these reason that I reached out to new Mums who have experienced giving birth during the pandemic, asking them to share their stories in the hope that it will shed light, dampen anxieties and bring about a welcome relief, demonstrating that yes, we can still have a beautiful birth story, filled with love, security and happiness, despite what is happening outside of our bubble.
Here we have the story of how baby Arthur took Emma and Luke from a family of two, to a family of three. As with the first two stories, Arthur was born early on, just as the UK went into its first national lockdown*. Despite facing anxieties, fears and the toughest of restrictions back in April 2020, my biggest take away from Emma’s story is her positive outlook and her appreciation for the NHS staff that played a part in the birth and aftercare of her son. Finally, Emma’s gratitude for the time Arthur and his Dad had together as a result of lockdown highlights that there are huge positives to be taken from these weird and not-so-wonderful times.
My husband and I found out we were having a baby back in July 2019, due at the end of March 2020. As first-time parents we were an intoxicating mix of ecstatic and terrified. As people who like to be prepared and organised, we read the books, listened to the podcasts, and went to the classes. Like, all the classes...
We took part in NCT classes, went to our community midwifes’ evening classes, and met with a hypnobirthing teacher (the lovely Laura from The Happy Birthing Co). Whilst I couldn’t predict what type of birth I would have, I was determined to be as prepared as possible.
Cue Covid-19.
On 16th March 2020, the government advised that pregnant people should take particular care and aim to self-isolate. I was 38 weeks pregnant and had finished work only a week or so before - this wasn’t exactly what I had pictured for the start of my maternity.
At 41+2 weeks pregnant, baby was in no rush so I opted for a sweep. I went alone and my midwife was wearing full PPE. It felt so surreal and I remember chatting with our lovely midwife about how bizarre it all was. The sweep was pretty disheartening as my midwife explained that nothing much seemed to be happening.
During my sweep appointment my midwife also spoke to me about being induced by the end of the week if baby hadn’t made an appearance. I had hoped to avoid being induced anyway but under the lockdown if I had an induction Luke wouldn’t have been able to come into hospital with me until I was in established labour. The thought of being without him for the start of labour sent waves of fear washing over me.
Luckily, a mere 12 hours after the sweep I went into labour! I can only assume that the curry I ate for dinner had worked as at 1am I was awake with the waves of contractions. This was it. The next 13 hours were mainly spent pacing up and down in the kitchen strapped to the TENS machine or, in the bath. Luke was amazing and seemed to be one step ahead of me, anticipating what I would need next.
5pm rolls around and we decide it is time to call the midwife unit. I was reluctant to go to the hospital as I knew that I would be alone due to the COVID-19 regulations, but I also felt like my labour was really progressing. The midwife on duty did a quick phone assessment but she felt that I wasn’t quite ready to come in. I was happy to stay at home, I felt safe and calm there.
Not long after making the phone call, I had some bleeding. We called the unit again and were told to head over. I have a vivid memory of getting out of the car, alone, and walking into the hospital with no one beside me. Luke couldn’t come into the hospital and I think the reality of a lockdown birth really hit me at that point. It was only about 7pm but the usually busy hospital was empty, and I had to navigate my way to the maternity ward, through my contractions without Luke to lean on. A little bit of panic crept in.
Luke tells me that he was sat in the car park for about 90mins before he heard from me. He describes feeling helpless and on edge having just waved off his wife and unborn child and having no idea what was happening. He watched a Louis Theroux documentary on his phone whilst he waited, the obvious choice!
Alone on the maternity ward, I’m having a big old wobble about not being far enough along and having to be sent home. I was dreading hearing that news. As the midwife checked me over the panic bubbled out of me. It turns out I was actually 7cm dilated. I phoned Luke to let him know he could come up now, we were in business! Apparently, the midwife told Luke that it was like a fog had lifted as soon as she told me I was 7cm - I hopped off the bed, politely asked what room I was going to be in and even managed to make a joke. I think the anxiety of having to go through the whole process again had really taken hold and once I knew that Luke could come in and that things were well underway, I felt able to focus again.
I had been hoping for a water birth but due to the bleed Baby needed to be monitored closely. We went into our room, dimmed the lights, got the music on, and got back in the zone using all the hypnobirthing techniques we had learned. I had some gas and air but wasn’t too keen on it so just kept focussing on my breathing as I had done at home. It seemed to be working so far so I just went with it.
It was only a short while until I was ready to push. I found this hard. I felt like I didn’t really know how to push Baby became distressed and his heart rate was recovering more slowly than the midwife would have liked. This is when my birth had a change of pace. From a chilled, steady pace things ramped up quite a bit. There were suddenly quite a few people in the room, and I lost focus for a couple of minutes. Everyone was so encouraging; they still held my hand and they cheered me on with every push. I ended up having forceps and an episiotomy. Everything was absolutely fine once baby was out - he greeted us by doing a massive poo on us both, a sign of things to come!
Every member of staff was wearing full PPE. Luke and I never saw the full face of anyone who delivered our wonderful baby boy, Arthur. The people who held my hand and cheered me on, who reassured Luke and guided us through what was happening, all had a physical barrier up but honestly, I barely even noticed. They were all incredible. Despite the masks, every member of staff made us feel supported and cared for.
Whilst becoming parents during lockdown has been challenging, and frankly bonkers at times, I am so grateful that we have been able to see the positives - and there have definitely been some!
Luke has been present for every big milestone. He has only ever had to run down from the ‘office’ (I miss my spare room!) to see big moments like rolling, sitting up and standing. He knows Arthur inside out and they spend the first hour of the day playing before Luke starts work (and I get some lovely extra snooze time!)
I am breastfeeding, which I found tricky at the start. Had I had the pressure of visitors or getting out and about to groups etc. I don’t know whether I would have felt confident enough in those early days to keep going. Although I couldn’t go to face-to-face feeding support groups, the hospital and community breastfeeding teams have put so much support online and, on the phone, that I was still able to get help when I needed it.
For family to miss out on meeting Arthur as a tiny baby and to miss out on those wonderful newborn cuddles still feels sad but once we were able to have visitors to the garden, we were able to see our parents. We took photos of visitors behind Artie and they will certainly be something to talk about when he is older!
Luke and I have really pulled together, and I am so proud of how well we have managed it all. Arthur is such a happy, playful little baby and we are so incredibly lucky to have him to keep us smiling every day.
*Note that COVID-related guidance has been amended since the beginning of the pandemic. NHS England now appreciates and acknowledges the value that birthing partners offer. In December 2020 NHS England released official documentation stating “it is…our aim, further to a risk assessment, that a woman should have access to support from a person of her choosing at all stages of her maternity journey and that all trusts should facilitate this as quickly as possible”. As a consequence, most hospital trusts are now more able to facilitate birth partners for the full duration of birth.