COVID Birth Stories - Lisa and baby Harper
As we in the UK have been plunged into a third lockdown, conversations with expectant Mums have, unsurprisingly, turned to whether or not they themselves will be faced with bringing their little one into the world with restrictions, rules and social distancing.
As an expectant Mum myself, this is a legitimate worry. Whilst none of us ultimately have control over our birth stories, these times give rise to heightened apprehension and additional distress that we could do without.
The thought of potentially giving birth on my own or having my partner be told he has to leave us just a short while after welcoming our child is a million miles away from the beautiful picture I have painted for so long.
It is for these reason that I reached out to new Mums who have experienced giving birth during the pandemic, asking them to share their stories in the hope that it will shed light, dampen anxieties and bring about a welcome relief, demonstrating that yes, we can still have a beautiful birth story, filled with love, security and happiness, despite what is happening outside of our bubble.
First up in this series is Lisa who bought baby Harper into the world on 17th May 2020, right in the height of the global pandemic when everything was still so unknown and uncertain*. Harper is Lisa’s second child and here is her story…
I was due to have a planned section on 28th May 2020 due to complications in my pregnancy and previous birth.
When COVID hit the UK, life and pregnancy became a bit of a rollercoaster. I was working in a school up until this point but had to immediately finish work and stay home for what became the next 10 weeks. With an 18 month old this was certainly tricky at times!
Midwife appointments, scans and Pregnancy Assessment Unit (PAU) visits alone weren’t ideal but actually not as scary as I thought they would be. As soon as I saw my baby on the screen wriggling about I instantly felt at ease! Consultant appointments were a bit harder as there was a lot of information to take in and no one to clarify things with later, but most of the time I was given a leaflet to take home to read.
I felt more for my husband missing out on scans and not getting to see his baby. We were very lucky that he had been to the 12 and 20 week scans (pre-COVID) but it was the growth scans that he missed out on. They wouldn’t allow me to film the scan monitor during the actual appointment so I always bought him a scan picture.
With the rules changing constantly midwife appointments could sometimes be daunting but my midwife was amazing and was actually the same midwife I had for my little boy so she always made me feel at ease. However, each week I was given new information as to whether my husband could or couldn’t be with me for the birth. It was constantly changing and emotionally draining!!!
We found out the week before that partners were allowed in for c-sections and into recovery afterwards, but that they had to leave when I returned to the postnatal ward wouldn’t see us again until we were discharged.
A week before my c-section was due (at 37 weeks) I couldn’t feel my baby moving so off I went to PAU. Baby was fine, but was transverse (lying sideways) and on top of my cord which bought about potential complications. I was told that due to the risks I now had to stay in hospital until baby was born.
I crumbled! I was petrified and alone. My 18-month old little boy was at home and had spent the last 10 weeks with me all day, every day, and now all of a sudden Mummy would be gone. It broke me.
The Dr and midwife were amazing. They calmed me down and told me to go home, pack my bags and give my little boy a big cuddle and kiss and come back in.
I had my COVID swab, which wasn’t all that pleasant, but I think it’s because I’d been crying so much. The wait in hospital wasn’t as bad (or long) as I thought it would be. My little boy was happy at home with Daddy and I got regular photo updates - how resilient are kids? It’s amazing!!
That same day, I started to get quite bad pains, like early contractions, but after being hooked up to the monitor and told they weren’t so, I carried on with my Zoom quiz and settled in for the night. Through the night however, the pains got worse. In the morning I had another examination, which confirmed that my cervix was closed, but just a short while later my waters broke and I was eventually moved onto the labour ward.
I kept asking if my husband could come, but this didn’t seem to be their priority. I called him and told him to drop our little boy with my parents and to wait in the car park. I needed him close and even if it was just in the car park, it was a little more reassuring for me.
After some confusion and miscommunication as to whether my waters had in fact broken (eventually confirmed) we moved down to theatre. I called my husband instantly and he was allowed in. As soon as I saw him I burst into tears, the relief was unreal. Then I was so excited to meet our baby girl with my husband by my side.
We went down to theatre and it was so calm - slightly weird with all the PPE - but everyone was so friendly and lovely.
Our baby girl was born - Harper Peggy Hope Rothon, 8lbs 8oz. She is perfect!
I didn’t want the surgery to end because it was just so, so lovely being there, just the 3 of us together. It was so calm in the room and Harper never made a sound.
We moved to the recovery ward for a couple of hours before I went back down to the postnatal ward and my husband had to leave. It was an emotional goodbye but we knew it wouldn’t be too long until we could be back home as our family of four.
Once alone I knew I needed to try and get a little sleep while I could. I could tell staffing was stretched - this was back in the days of minimal testing so if staff had a slight cough they had to stay off for 2 weeks. It was hard not being able to get out of bed to get my baby and I felt like there was no-one around to pass her to me so I just didn’t really put her down. Aside from that, the hospital was fine and you didn’t have to wear a mask at your bedside.
We were discharged around 30 hours after Harper’s birth. I think if it had been normal circumstances and my husband was allowed in, even to visit, I would have stayed longer for the pain relief - I struggled so much more this time - but seeing my husband again outside the ward was the biggest relief!!!!!
Once home, we still had health visitors come to our home but the appointments were very strange. My husband and son had to leave the room whilst Harper and me stayed but on the opposite side of the room. Such a strange time to live in but completely understandable that everyone should be protected.
Having Harper in May meant we were in full lockdown. This meant no visitors at all. After a few days the restrictions eased and we were allowed visitors to come and meet us in the garden. Luckily it was warm enough to sit outside, but it is heart breaking not being able to let your family and best friends hold and snuggle your baby. I took photos of Harper with each visitor in the background as I think this will be quite special in an album.
We completely made the most of our newborn bubble – just the 4 of us - and enjoyed family time and slow days. Nowhere to be. Just us. Later, my friend came and took some doorstep photos for us which are so, so special and I will treasure them forever. Our first photos as a family of 4, the way people saw us for so long.
*Note that COVID-related guidance has been amended since the beginning of the pandemic. NHS England now appreciates and acknowledges the value that birthing partners offer. In December 2020 NHS England released official documentation stating “it is…our aim, further to a risk assessment, that a woman should have access to support from a person of her choosing at all stages of her maternity journey and that all trusts should facilitate this as quickly as possible”. As a consequence, most hospital trusts are now more able to facilitate birth partners for the full duration of birth.